Brief Revision:
What over looked damage is the obsession of technology leading to?
Thesis: Through the over use of technology present throughout the United States not only is it leading to addiction but also to more severe health problems
Argument 1: Obesity Rate increasing rapidly throughout the USA.
Argument 2: Once you start you cannot stop, regardless of the age that the use of technology is starting at.
Argument 3: Pollution caused by man made technology machines isn’t doing any good.
Argument 4: Violence endangering the well being of citizens caused by frustration of technology.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
HW 17 OUTLINE COMMENTS
Hi Mohammed,
Here are my suggestions; I broke it down by each section…
Thesis Revision: I think that you have a good start to your thesis but I think rewording it might be a good idea. I would say: The overuse of technology present in the USA shows signs of laziness and unhealthy behavior. Which leads to a nation of indoor activity and bad eating habits.
Argument 1 Revision: I think this paragraph has a good start; I think that for your evidence should focus around someone who used to live in the Middle East and now lives in the United States. You said that we are a dumber nation, what is your proof of that? There are smart people in this country and so what if they are on the phones 24/7?
Argument 2 Revision: I think you have a good idea going for this…Maybe you can discuss the movie Wall-E, and it can be your evidence of the US obesity rate rising. Also the rate of diabetes rising.
Argument 3 Revision: WRITE IT!
Conclusion Revision: Make sure the point you are trying to come across is made clear through your evidence!
Here are my suggestions; I broke it down by each section…
Thesis Revision: I think that you have a good start to your thesis but I think rewording it might be a good idea. I would say: The overuse of technology present in the USA shows signs of laziness and unhealthy behavior. Which leads to a nation of indoor activity and bad eating habits.
Argument 1 Revision: I think this paragraph has a good start; I think that for your evidence should focus around someone who used to live in the Middle East and now lives in the United States. You said that we are a dumber nation, what is your proof of that? There are smart people in this country and so what if they are on the phones 24/7?
Argument 2 Revision: I think you have a good idea going for this…Maybe you can discuss the movie Wall-E, and it can be your evidence of the US obesity rate rising. Also the rate of diabetes rising.
Argument 3 Revision: WRITE IT!
Conclusion Revision: Make sure the point you are trying to come across is made clear through your evidence!
HW 16
Thesis: Digitization in the United States is much more severe than in other countries and the overuse starts at a much earlier age in this country.
Argument 1: Without so much use of technology incorporated into peoples lives, people seem to succeed more in positive areas. With all of the distraction of the web, cellphones, TV and video games people tend to neglect school work and homework. People use technology as a way to procrastinate and avoid being active, which leads to an extreme problem of laziness.
Argument 2: Personally a student at School of the Future used to live in a country where good grades and intelligence counted more than new gadgets and materialistic ways of life. When he moved to the United States from the Middle East he realized shortly his addiction to texting. He is aware that most teenagers in his previous country did not have the access to I-pods or Cell Phones, he stated that because of this they strived to learn to the maximum, so that in their lives would be better.
Argument 3: Children of younger ages are becoming part of this digital world earlier and earlier in life. Meaning that once they reach an older age they will have a much higher addiction then someone who was placed in the world at a later age. Most parents when asked during surveys didn't say that they were going to or would completely exile technology from their children's life's. The parents have an influence on the way their children act because they are the ones raising them. So when parents complain about faces being glued to screens they forget that essentially the only reason their children ever got addicted was because they introduced it to them originally.
Argument 1: Without so much use of technology incorporated into peoples lives, people seem to succeed more in positive areas. With all of the distraction of the web, cellphones, TV and video games people tend to neglect school work and homework. People use technology as a way to procrastinate and avoid being active, which leads to an extreme problem of laziness.
Argument 2: Personally a student at School of the Future used to live in a country where good grades and intelligence counted more than new gadgets and materialistic ways of life. When he moved to the United States from the Middle East he realized shortly his addiction to texting. He is aware that most teenagers in his previous country did not have the access to I-pods or Cell Phones, he stated that because of this they strived to learn to the maximum, so that in their lives would be better.
Argument 3: Children of younger ages are becoming part of this digital world earlier and earlier in life. Meaning that once they reach an older age they will have a much higher addiction then someone who was placed in the world at a later age. Most parents when asked during surveys didn't say that they were going to or would completely exile technology from their children's life's. The parents have an influence on the way their children act because they are the ones raising them. So when parents complain about faces being glued to screens they forget that essentially the only reason their children ever got addicted was because they introduced it to them originally.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
HW 15: Treasure Hunt
Abe,
“It is like a parallel universe where the same thing is happening but until we see our reflection we don’t know that we have a problem.” Just wanted to start out the comments with something I appreciate that you said. In your wall posts you always get me thinking and your thoughts help my thoughts expand. The post I am going to focus on though is FEED 13 B. I really enjoyed reading this one and it seems as though you put a lot of thought into creating it.
In this post you begin with stating that you don’t like to read. Honesty is always a good thing, your not alone I am not the biggest fan either. You said that you actually enjoyed reading feed, so did I. You stated that the parts you didn’t understand you looked up and found summaries to help further your understanding. You then discuss how you feel as though there is no solution and that its just feeding us facts about what is going on in the world at the present moment but not what ways we can stop it. The line that really struck me though was the one I opened up the comments with. Parallel universe I completely agree with you on that. Do you think as a whole world all of us will ever look into that mirror? Do you think we are scared to because we expect to see something horrible?
A connection that I make to your piece of work is that a lot of times in life we forget that sometimes looking in the mirror is okay. People make statements saying that people who look in the mirror a lot are conceited or over obsessed with their appearance. But if we never looked at ourselves we may not notice certain things that do have an affect on our lives. Our planet seems to try to stay as far away as possible from that huge mirror. A way to figure out the truth sometimes is to look at what’s in front of you because before we can move a step forward, we might need to take a step back.
I think if you were to develop this post I would work on the second paragraph. It is a good start but I think you should expand on it even more to make your point even more clear. Why do you not think it was the author’s idea to not give a solution? If he is making all of these statements shouldn’t he also give us a reasoning for what our next step should be? I mean I agree with you on the fact that he doesn’t give a solution, but maybe there is something behind it all that we need to figure out.
I keep relating back to the quote I started the comments with but I want to emphasize on that and it really makes me think about my own life. I think that it’s important to have alone time sometimes to sit down and think about what's going on in your life, the good and the bad. I think that as humans it’s good to critic ourselves because we can grow from our own mistakes. If we are aware of what we are doing its much easier to turn the tables so that in the end you come out with a better ending. You are a very insightful thinker Abe and observe things that I would of never thought about at first glance.
I really enjoyed this post and the thoughts within it. Continue this good work!
Mohammed,
The post that I really enjoyed reading was FEED 12A. There were a specific couple of sentences that I think are the start of something very interesting. “…if we want to calculate something well use a calculator if we want to get any information about anything well just go Google it on the computer or phone! This way were not getting any smarter, technology is closing are minds and making us think that its impossible to do what the devises can do for us.” Technology is closing our minds. We don’t need to think for ourselves anymore we can have a machine do it for us, not even another person.
I think the point you were trying to make in this piece of work was that you focused on the addiction and constant need for fast information. You kept on touching upon the fact that you were very addicted to texting. You then brought up the fact that in the Middle East people our age don’t have the access like we do to technology. You said that they actually do their work and get good grades in school because they are not as distracted as we are. Lastly you ended your piece with discussing how the only reason you use technology the way you do is because the rest of the world is influencing you to believe that is what is cool.
I want to connect myself to your thoughts on the Middle East. When I went to camp this summer I had no phone, no computer, no Facebook for 2 months. I did so much more with my time. I did things that I really enjoy to do and had no distractions to take away from my complete happiness. I felt healthier, rested and all together a better person. Do you think that since you have become addicted to technology it has made you a less happy person or a more happy person? When I came back to reality I became this whole other person and the person I was over the summer was gone. I remember saying to my friends at camp that I was going to try to use less technology but of course that didn’t last very long. It feels as though I don’t know what else to do sometimes, and that makes me very sad.
I think you have a good start for this but I felt as though while reading it you repeated you same argument a lot. Maybe you can expand on the part about the Middle East because I think we forget sometimes that just because we are addicted to technology doesn’t mean that everyone else in the world is as well. I think it would be interesting to compare a US teen to a Middle East teen, and explore that further.
Your post made me consider the idea of what my life might be like if I didn’t live in the United States, how I would interact with the rest of the world. I think its weird to think that most of the world doesn’t live the way we do because sometimes I feel like we get so close minded (myself included). I wonder if I would be happier living in a world where there was less in front of me and if maybe I would appreciate what I had more.
Good Job!! Keep exploring and thinking!
“It is like a parallel universe where the same thing is happening but until we see our reflection we don’t know that we have a problem.” Just wanted to start out the comments with something I appreciate that you said. In your wall posts you always get me thinking and your thoughts help my thoughts expand. The post I am going to focus on though is FEED 13 B. I really enjoyed reading this one and it seems as though you put a lot of thought into creating it.
In this post you begin with stating that you don’t like to read. Honesty is always a good thing, your not alone I am not the biggest fan either. You said that you actually enjoyed reading feed, so did I. You stated that the parts you didn’t understand you looked up and found summaries to help further your understanding. You then discuss how you feel as though there is no solution and that its just feeding us facts about what is going on in the world at the present moment but not what ways we can stop it. The line that really struck me though was the one I opened up the comments with. Parallel universe I completely agree with you on that. Do you think as a whole world all of us will ever look into that mirror? Do you think we are scared to because we expect to see something horrible?
A connection that I make to your piece of work is that a lot of times in life we forget that sometimes looking in the mirror is okay. People make statements saying that people who look in the mirror a lot are conceited or over obsessed with their appearance. But if we never looked at ourselves we may not notice certain things that do have an affect on our lives. Our planet seems to try to stay as far away as possible from that huge mirror. A way to figure out the truth sometimes is to look at what’s in front of you because before we can move a step forward, we might need to take a step back.
I think if you were to develop this post I would work on the second paragraph. It is a good start but I think you should expand on it even more to make your point even more clear. Why do you not think it was the author’s idea to not give a solution? If he is making all of these statements shouldn’t he also give us a reasoning for what our next step should be? I mean I agree with you on the fact that he doesn’t give a solution, but maybe there is something behind it all that we need to figure out.
I keep relating back to the quote I started the comments with but I want to emphasize on that and it really makes me think about my own life. I think that it’s important to have alone time sometimes to sit down and think about what's going on in your life, the good and the bad. I think that as humans it’s good to critic ourselves because we can grow from our own mistakes. If we are aware of what we are doing its much easier to turn the tables so that in the end you come out with a better ending. You are a very insightful thinker Abe and observe things that I would of never thought about at first glance.
I really enjoyed this post and the thoughts within it. Continue this good work!
Mohammed,
The post that I really enjoyed reading was FEED 12A. There were a specific couple of sentences that I think are the start of something very interesting. “…if we want to calculate something well use a calculator if we want to get any information about anything well just go Google it on the computer or phone! This way were not getting any smarter, technology is closing are minds and making us think that its impossible to do what the devises can do for us.” Technology is closing our minds. We don’t need to think for ourselves anymore we can have a machine do it for us, not even another person.
I think the point you were trying to make in this piece of work was that you focused on the addiction and constant need for fast information. You kept on touching upon the fact that you were very addicted to texting. You then brought up the fact that in the Middle East people our age don’t have the access like we do to technology. You said that they actually do their work and get good grades in school because they are not as distracted as we are. Lastly you ended your piece with discussing how the only reason you use technology the way you do is because the rest of the world is influencing you to believe that is what is cool.
I want to connect myself to your thoughts on the Middle East. When I went to camp this summer I had no phone, no computer, no Facebook for 2 months. I did so much more with my time. I did things that I really enjoy to do and had no distractions to take away from my complete happiness. I felt healthier, rested and all together a better person. Do you think that since you have become addicted to technology it has made you a less happy person or a more happy person? When I came back to reality I became this whole other person and the person I was over the summer was gone. I remember saying to my friends at camp that I was going to try to use less technology but of course that didn’t last very long. It feels as though I don’t know what else to do sometimes, and that makes me very sad.
I think you have a good start for this but I felt as though while reading it you repeated you same argument a lot. Maybe you can expand on the part about the Middle East because I think we forget sometimes that just because we are addicted to technology doesn’t mean that everyone else in the world is as well. I think it would be interesting to compare a US teen to a Middle East teen, and explore that further.
Your post made me consider the idea of what my life might be like if I didn’t live in the United States, how I would interact with the rest of the world. I think its weird to think that most of the world doesn’t live the way we do because sometimes I feel like we get so close minded (myself included). I wonder if I would be happier living in a world where there was less in front of me and if maybe I would appreciate what I had more.
Good Job!! Keep exploring and thinking!
HW 14
First off I would like to point out the fact that we just read a book being projected on to our eyes, which processed in our brains from a screen. After reading the two excerpts: TV and Video Games I felt as though what the author was trying to convey to the reader very interesting. In TV, he went over the history behind TV and how 20-30 years ago there was so much less in drama in your hour of “relaxation.” That if a person from that time period were to enter our 21st century world they would of not been able to watch our TV episodes because their mind simply would not be well prepared enough. Thanks to our past generations though because without them we wouldn’t be able to enjoy these shows at the extent we do. There was a part of the text where he inserted a portion of the script from the show ER. While I was reading it I had a thought, this is so stupid! People waste so much time to hear about all of this bad stuff happening right in front of our eyes. Bad stuff that we can’t even touch and have no control to. The reflection of the bad has an impact on our moods and isn’t doing us any good but making us more depressed. TV is doing so much more bad than good, think about how much drama there is throughout the day in this school. Why do you think people feel the need to start it? To make our lives more interesting? Or is it really to mock whatever we are being told is normal?
I know I mentioned something similar to this before but just like not being able to watch TV till I was 2, I was also never allowed to have a GAMEBOY when they started becoming popular in elementary school. To be quite honest I find videogames quite boring. Maybe its because when my brain was more absorbent I wasn’t absorbing the love for these virtual realties but it seems as though most people were. Today if I go to someone’s house and we have nothing to do and were bored it seems like digital is what we always fall back on. The videogames though really are the least to keep my attention span. I could really care less if the character I am being is dying or not gaining the good weapons, what does it have to do with me…NOTHING! The author discussed how people of my generation and generations after are confused of the fact that video games came before books, that when a teacher hands a book we think of it as if its an alien to us. When I learned to read I was so excited, I remember feeling as though I was a little bit more grown up then the younger kids. It seems as though a lot of people feel different about reading though. To be quite honest though my love of reading slowly drifts away every day I become more engaged in my cool new gadgets! I wish that I could reverse time so that I continued to love to read so that instead of being brain dead half the time of the day I could actually exercise my mind to think useful thoughts!
After reading these two texts I thought the whole thing was useful. It’s sending off an important message that should be clear too most but we don’t take the time to think about it. The sad part is the facts being laid out are so obvious from the way the culture is but people never really think for themselves anymore. I just had a thought; in most of my blog posts I am talking and talking about how I think digital is so bad. In all honesty though even after learning more information about what its really doing to us I can’t stop. I can’t stop using it and I want to but I have lost all my sense of self-control. The only way to stop is if we just through our obsessions out the window off the planet would people continue to use it illegally? Most likely, yes.
In the book Feed it is a story based on us for us, it points out facts that we like to hide. In the two texts it discusses how we got here and points out facts we don’t realize as much. Neither of the texts give a clear solution though. It just seems as though we have dug ourselves deep into a tunnel and the chances of seeing the light at this point are quite slim. In Feed, I feel as though underneath it all we are just being made fun of, and its not like I am getting offended because deep down inside we all know what we are doing. In the texts we learn about how we have been trained for years to having the ability to process complicated shows. As if we have been waiting for this day for a long time, the day we can finally understand what’s really going on in our screens! Isn’t it exciting, I am so happy that my brain is capable of this! Think about how much our children will be able to take in from TV, how jealous I am of them! This is sick because I am sure people who create these shows have a lot of these thoughts on their minds. We need to stop.
I know I mentioned something similar to this before but just like not being able to watch TV till I was 2, I was also never allowed to have a GAMEBOY when they started becoming popular in elementary school. To be quite honest I find videogames quite boring. Maybe its because when my brain was more absorbent I wasn’t absorbing the love for these virtual realties but it seems as though most people were. Today if I go to someone’s house and we have nothing to do and were bored it seems like digital is what we always fall back on. The videogames though really are the least to keep my attention span. I could really care less if the character I am being is dying or not gaining the good weapons, what does it have to do with me…NOTHING! The author discussed how people of my generation and generations after are confused of the fact that video games came before books, that when a teacher hands a book we think of it as if its an alien to us. When I learned to read I was so excited, I remember feeling as though I was a little bit more grown up then the younger kids. It seems as though a lot of people feel different about reading though. To be quite honest though my love of reading slowly drifts away every day I become more engaged in my cool new gadgets! I wish that I could reverse time so that I continued to love to read so that instead of being brain dead half the time of the day I could actually exercise my mind to think useful thoughts!
After reading these two texts I thought the whole thing was useful. It’s sending off an important message that should be clear too most but we don’t take the time to think about it. The sad part is the facts being laid out are so obvious from the way the culture is but people never really think for themselves anymore. I just had a thought; in most of my blog posts I am talking and talking about how I think digital is so bad. In all honesty though even after learning more information about what its really doing to us I can’t stop. I can’t stop using it and I want to but I have lost all my sense of self-control. The only way to stop is if we just through our obsessions out the window off the planet would people continue to use it illegally? Most likely, yes.
In the book Feed it is a story based on us for us, it points out facts that we like to hide. In the two texts it discusses how we got here and points out facts we don’t realize as much. Neither of the texts give a clear solution though. It just seems as though we have dug ourselves deep into a tunnel and the chances of seeing the light at this point are quite slim. In Feed, I feel as though underneath it all we are just being made fun of, and its not like I am getting offended because deep down inside we all know what we are doing. In the texts we learn about how we have been trained for years to having the ability to process complicated shows. As if we have been waiting for this day for a long time, the day we can finally understand what’s really going on in our screens! Isn’t it exciting, I am so happy that my brain is capable of this! Think about how much our children will be able to take in from TV, how jealous I am of them! This is sick because I am sure people who create these shows have a lot of these thoughts on their minds. We need to stop.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
FEED 13
“Everything must go.” (Page 299) The last line that repeats over and over again, in till it becomes so small yet leaving you feeling empty. The whole time I was reading this book it gave me a feeling of disgust and sadness. I have a feeling that those are two emotions Anderson was trying to get across. The truth of the matter is slowly our world before our eyes is turning towards the end. My idea for my art project is to make a globe like object but open it up and see all the different layers inside the earth, to the point where there is nothing. That this big world is suddenly just a small dot in the rest of the universe. That we are nothing, that right now at this present moment we are turning into nothing beings. The feeling that once this world used to be so big and mysterious because there was something more beyond our waters and fields but now all of that mystery is gone and we are bored with our lives. We would rather waste it alive than die but what are we doing with our lives by sitting around?
Solution. There really is no solution, in the book, in our world. Even though today people are inventing solar cars, solar energy, more people are realizing they should recycle; the damage has already been done. When will this damage talk full action in moving closer to the end? We already are moving towards the end. That scares me, will it be tomorrow that the world decides to give out, or will it be long after I am gone? No one knows and I think that’s what scares us the most. The thought of not being able to know when it’s going to happen. Even with all of our technology that is the one thing we cannot predict.
I just had a thought; I wonder how many people have read this book. I am sure that if we weren’t so distracted by all of the things going on around us more people would sit down and read. On the subway people don’t even turn pages anymore they have these fancy digital books now. A lot of people don’t even read at all anymore. Maybe that’s the problem we are so distracted by what’s going on around us that we don’t realize what is happening right in front of us. If more people digested this book to come to terms with reality maybe just maybe the end would slowly be farther away. I was reading something a while ago about what makes people live longer, it said if you think positively it has been proven that sometimes people live for at least 7 more years. I guess when you are older and your live isn’t as exciting as it used to be you become depressed. So maybe what the world needs to do to find our sense of security is to think positively and maybe the world will hold out a little longer for us.
“Art is not a Mirror with which to reflect the World. It is a Hammer with which to shape it.” (Bert Brecht) I think Feed is a mix between a hammer and a mirror so lets call it a mirrammer. Anderson is trying to make us look in the mirror and realize what we are truly seeing but I think he is making us question our habits and hopefully reflect so that we try to change. Maybe if we start shaping it in a better way our reflections will be more likeable to the eye. I would like to make my art just like Anderson did, a message to question but also a reality check. If some stupid ad on the Internet can change and impact someone’s ideas, can’t art too?
Solution. There really is no solution, in the book, in our world. Even though today people are inventing solar cars, solar energy, more people are realizing they should recycle; the damage has already been done. When will this damage talk full action in moving closer to the end? We already are moving towards the end. That scares me, will it be tomorrow that the world decides to give out, or will it be long after I am gone? No one knows and I think that’s what scares us the most. The thought of not being able to know when it’s going to happen. Even with all of our technology that is the one thing we cannot predict.
I just had a thought; I wonder how many people have read this book. I am sure that if we weren’t so distracted by all of the things going on around us more people would sit down and read. On the subway people don’t even turn pages anymore they have these fancy digital books now. A lot of people don’t even read at all anymore. Maybe that’s the problem we are so distracted by what’s going on around us that we don’t realize what is happening right in front of us. If more people digested this book to come to terms with reality maybe just maybe the end would slowly be farther away. I was reading something a while ago about what makes people live longer, it said if you think positively it has been proven that sometimes people live for at least 7 more years. I guess when you are older and your live isn’t as exciting as it used to be you become depressed. So maybe what the world needs to do to find our sense of security is to think positively and maybe the world will hold out a little longer for us.
“Art is not a Mirror with which to reflect the World. It is a Hammer with which to shape it.” (Bert Brecht) I think Feed is a mix between a hammer and a mirror so lets call it a mirrammer. Anderson is trying to make us look in the mirror and realize what we are truly seeing but I think he is making us question our habits and hopefully reflect so that we try to change. Maybe if we start shaping it in a better way our reflections will be more likeable to the eye. I would like to make my art just like Anderson did, a message to question but also a reality check. If some stupid ad on the Internet can change and impact someone’s ideas, can’t art too?
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