Like most things in life you honestly have to play it by ear. I don't think there is one set way of creating the perfect parent. Each kid is different and will react in a range of different ways. I think the best thing a parent could do in the beginning of their child's life is to find a good pre-school. At that age the brain is so much like a sponge that whatever is being processed will stick. What's kind of interesting is that after the age of 3 or 4, the child begins to spend less and less time with their parents and more and more time with their teacher(s) and other classmates. So the parents have to basically hope for the best and that the child who enters their home after 3 o'clock is stable enough to be able to handle.
Our memories from the early years of our life are practically non-existent. So is that to say our parents could treat us terribly up to a certain point and we would have no recollection of it? I think there should be a little bit of all the guiding principles incorporated into a home. If our personalities fluctuate so much and can only be momentary we have to have a grip at all the skills of both nurturing and confidence. Take this for example, if a parent shows to much humor the kid will never learn to take them seriously, and as they get older will end up walking all over them. However if the parent incorporates humor into the home but also makes it clear that sometimes obedience is necessary not only will it help the parent but probably shape the child as a more civilized person.
I wouldn't say parenting is going to come naturally but I think however we were raised will reflect our choice of action. Maybe not entirely but to at least some extent whatever is ingrained inside our minds will subconsciously bubble its way to the top. When or if I become a parent I am definitely going to read books on raising children. Its almost like when you study a bunch of material for a test, chances are a lot of what you studied might not even be on the actual test but the fact that you were prepared gives you practically a guarantee you can take on the challenge.
It seems like even at this age when a parent says walk we usually run, whatever they suggest we go against. Is this possibly the effect of a cycle that has been indented into our brains? In the online article: When Parenting Theories Backfire it discusses the simple method of teaching a child choices. You offer the blue and the red cup and they want the yellow. Whatever isn't offered or what isn't the parents choice/decision is the ideal choice for the kid. I guess it gives the kid a sense of rebellion against the superior but it also is what I think might be the main spark for argument.
Coming from someone who I believe was parented in this way (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130300.asp), as much as it may be effective as a young baby as you get older it makes the relationship tense. The parents think these tools will last forever and the kid gets aggravated by the lack of space. When your a baby you don't know the difference but once you develop a voice... your idea of wanting to be nurtured 24 hours a day slowly decreases.
i defined someone who is emotionally mature as one who doesn't have the attitude of a 5 year old and handles any given situation maturely. I think the way you are raised does shape your emotional maturity, if you are babied your entire life and always given what you want when you want it... the day someone says no your going to have a break down. You then will appear as a big baby, and people usually do not associate babies as emotionally mature human beings. More so the opposite and then society will look down on you and laugh at you which leads to you gaining no respect from peers.
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